A mocumentary telling the story of the 1982 Tour de France in which all but five cyclists were disqualified for doping. This crazy TV movie runs for only 41 minutes but somehow manages to cram in an insane amount of jokes in an even more insane story. There is nothing real about the story or … Continue reading Tour de Pharmacy
Salt of the Earth Jersey boy Mike McKenna (Mark Wahlberg) works on a building site and spends his evenings in the same bar every night with his friends who he met at school. Which is exactly why Roxanne Hall (Halle Berry), his high school first love turned super spy chooses him to join “The Union”. … Continue reading The Union
A group of young space colonists downtrodden by the all encompassing Weyland-Yutani Corporation decide to risk everything by boarding and scavenging from a derelict space station. Their goal is to find enough cryogenic fuel to allow them to escape to the next inhabitable system. What they did not account for though was the terrifying alien … Continue reading Alien: Romulus
Depressed ex-marine Rory (Matt Damon) and alcoholic ex-convict Cobby (Casey Affleck) are thrown together as part of a crew hired to rob the Mayor of Boston (Ron Perlman) on election night. But when things go hopelessly wrong they end up on the run together. The Instigators plays out like the sort of bickering buddy comedy … Continue reading The Instigators
On Christmas Eve a stray bullet from a gang shootout kills a young boy playing in his front garden with his parents. His father, Brian Godlock (Joel Kinnaman) gives chase and suffers an injury that prevents him from speaking. As his marriage crumbles Brian vows to get his revenge. Director John Woo returns to western … Continue reading Silent Night (2023)
Cooper (Josh Hartnett) takes his teenage daughter Riley (Ariel Donoghue) to see the biggest Popstar on the planet perform live at a local arena. However the FBI have decided to use the gig as a trap for a serial killer known as “The Butcher” who they believe will be there. M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie … Continue reading Trap
Lilith (Cate Blanchett) and a ragtag crew of miscreants are searching the planet of Pandora for the infamous Vault left there by an advanced alien race. Lilith is initially sent on a rescue mission to save Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt) from her kidnapper Roland (Kevin Hart) before she realises she has been duped. Joining forces … Continue reading Borderlands
In 1942 a group of soldiers are sent on an unofficial and fully deniable operation behind enemy lines. Led by Major Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) the team will have to overcome insurmountable odds to turn the tide of the war. Loosely based on the real life Operation Postmaster, Guy Ritchie’s latest film may well give … Continue reading The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare
Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) is offered a place in the MCU by The Time Variance Authority (TVA) as long as he does not kick up a fuss about the fact that his universe is going to cease to exist. This of course is never an option for the “merc with a mouth”. Seeking out an alternate … Continue reading Deadpool & Wolverine
Kate Cooper (Daisy Edgar-Jones) abandons storm chasing after an experiment to tame a tornado goes catastrophically wrong. But when old colleague Javi (Anthony Ramos) approaches her five years later with a new plan to map tornadoes that could save thousands of lives she returns to the fold still carrying the PTSD from five years earlier. … Continue reading Twisters
Phil the Bear's Film Reviews 