Head of Apex Cybernetics Walter Simmons (Demian Bechir) hires scientist Nathan Lind (Alexander Skarsgard) to travel to Hollow Earth, the rumoured home of all Titans. To do so Lind in turn hires Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall), the Kong whisperer in order to get Kong to show them the way. When their paths cross with Godzilla all hell breaks loose. 

Let’s get this out of the way early. If you like Kaiju movies I do not think it really matters what I say next. One thing for certain is that I struggle with these types of film. I have found Pacific Rim, Pacific Rim: Uprising and Godzilla: King of the Monsters to be pretty dire and Kong: Skull Island to be merely fine. Where as the opening film of the monsterverse, Gareth Edwards 2014 Godzilla for me has so far been the best of the crop. My issue in the main is that the stories make little sense and the characters in them are badly written. The result is I just do not care. I do not care about which monster wins or what happens to the characters within. Unfortunately this film fits that description again. So let’s delve into why. 

The main plot for Godzilla vs Kong is a bit reminiscent of some old fashioned science fiction. At the centre of the Earth is a mythological paradise where Titans live thanks to some magnificent power source. The shady CEO of Apex Cybernetics who has more money than sense has built flying ships that can deal with gravity inverting and travel there. But they need Kong’s help. Honestly, if we delve into why they need Kong’s help things start to get murky. This whole aspect of the film is actually the most interesting but it’s given short shrift and just plays as corny. Of course Lind’s brother died in an attempt to travel there once and he even carries a picture of him to prove how much he loved him. 

The comic relief element of the story has Madison Russell (Millie Bobby Brown), Bernie Hayes (Bryan Tyree Henry) and Josh Valentine (Julian Dennison) rushing around to try and break into Apex. You may remember Madison from the last film. Whilst Bernie is a kook podcaster trying to expose secrets and Josh is the literal sidekick. Their entire plot is basically running around like headless chickens saying awful lines that are supposed to be funny. 

Then of course we have Kong and Godzilla fighting. This is because as per the last film there can only be one alpha Titan and there is some mention of an ancient rivalry. That’s it. Of course whilst they are killing hundreds of thousands of people whilst levelling city blocks we are supposed to care about them because, reasons. Anyone who had any complaint about superhero collateral damage in films should be up in arms here. 

So here is where you all think I am a joyless snob who can not just enjoy the spectacle. Godzilla vs Kong whilst standing on aircraft carriers! Godzilla vs Kong whilst destroying Hong Kong! Yeah, sure. The effects work is pretty damn impressive. But I just get bored out of my mind waiting for it and then when it happens I just do not have any stake in it. Why do I care if Godzilla or Kong wins?

So as far as the monsterverse goes I would not lose any sleep if they decided to wrap it up here. There are no mid or end credits stings here setting up new films and it seemed like a fitting enough end. This instalment probably nudges in front of 2019’s King Of The Monsters but that is not saying much.