The planet-killing Unicron (Orson Welles) sets his eyes upon the Transformers’ home world of Cybertron. Can the Autobots, led by the brave Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), save their planet whilst also fighting a fierce civil war with the evil Decepticons, led by Megatron (Frank Welker)?

The Transformers: The Movie celebrates forty years since its release in 1986 with a return to the big screen. With it also being just one month after the legendary Peter Cullen, voice of Optimus Prime, passed away, this was a nostalgic return to my childhood that makes objectivity rather moot. Long-time readers of this blog will know of my love of Transformers and this film is simply a classic for me despite its many flaws. So let’s discuss what works and what does not and just imagine a gleeful middle-aged man watching a movie constantly thinking, I had that toy, and that one, and…

Set in the year 2005, the Decepticons have control of Cybertron. The Autobots, however, are planning their offensive that will return control of the planet to them. They have various bases on the moons of Cybertron, but most crucially one on Earth. When Megatron leads a full-scale attack on that Earth base, he inflicts a cataclysmic wound on the Autobots and the unlikely team of Hot Rod (Judd Nelson) and Kup (Lionel Stander) find themselves at the forefront of the response.

As this film was a direct continuation of the Transformers TV series (it falls between seasons two and three), it cares little for explanation and it is much better for it. There is very little preamble or expository speeches. It is simply good robots versus bad robots whilst an even badder robot tries to kill them all. Its main focus is to deliver some cataclysmic character deaths and lots of action to the backdrop of some of the cheesiest (coolest) 1980s music there is. This means that it can feel a little clunky as it transitions from set piece to set piece, but it does mean the film comes in at an incredibly brisk eighty-four minutes, including credits!

Forty years on from its release, it still contains some amazing highs. The music, whilst of its time, lends a huge amount of joy to the set pieces. Stan Bush’s “The Touch” is the sort of tune that still gets the hairs on my arm to rise when it kicks in as Optimus Prime enters the fray. And Vince DiCola’s electronic score is a classic. Its voice cast is also phenomenal. It was famously one of Orson Welles’ final films, giving the sort of gravitas to a planet-sized robot that makes him one of the greatest villains in animated history. Leonard Nimoy voiced the evil Galvatron, Scatman Crothers played Jazz and Eric Idle gave his voice to the Junk Planet’s leader, Wreck-Gar. It is also worth mentioning that, whilst now dated, the animation style is still beautifully stylised and worthy of attention.

If I wanted to attempt some objectivity in the face of my nostalgia, I could point out how none of it really makes a lot of sense. Even as a child I was fascinated by why Unicron’s internal systems would mimic that of a human body when he likely had not ever come into contact with a human. Why indeed are there so many planets filled with robotic life that mimic human constructs? And as mentioned previously, the film makes no effort to bring you up to speed with why the Autobots and Decepticons are fighting. Why the Quintessons, Sharkticons or Junkions do what it is they do is something that you will have to find out on your own. But does it really matter? This is an absolutely classic animated movie that was a sequel to a cartoon series that was essentially created to advertise a toy line. And what a toy line!

The Transformers: The Movie is a nostalgic joy and I hope you watch it and delight. And for anyone who scoffs at that, all I can say to you is, “Bah Weep Graaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong”.